On the Triple J breakfast show on Fridays, they have the Friday Fuckwit. I'd like to introduce you to the Wednesday Wankstain. It's basically the same concept, but on a different day.

Now this week's Wednesday Wankstain Award goes to the one and only Amanda Vanstone. Now, I know I'm a little behind the times on this one, but her comment to Little Johnny about the security on flights and being able to take on a HB pencil, with which she could pierce his eye and poke around in his brain.

I know we'd all like to do this to Little Johnny, but she's one of the few people that would have the chance. Personally, I think she should take one for the team and go ahead and scramble Little Johnny's brain with that HB pencil she's so keen on.

Let's face it, she's be the cock of the walk in prison. Who'd want to mess with her? All she needs is a stick and you're fucked. I don't want to go anywhere near her as it is, let alone if she were a convicted murderer.

Congratulations Mandy, you've won the inaugural Wednesday Wankstain Award!

Well kids, it's Topical Tuesday again. This week is Evolution vs Creation.

Firstly when I was in high school a religious friend of mine said to me "Think about it this way, if you put all the parts of a watch in a box and shook it about, you wouldn't end up with a watch would you?". Now, years later this question popped into my mind again and I got to thinking, "You know, if you shook for long enough, you just might end up with a watch. 65 million years of shaking, might just get you a watch. Sure it wouldn't look very good, being all dented and such, but it might just be a watch". Personally, I don't plan on shaking a box of junk for 65 million years or so to find out, so I have no way to prove this.

I'm all for evolution, but I'm cool with other people thinking differently as long as they don't try and change my opinion. Sure debate is healthy, but preaching pisses me off.

I want to sit down with someone who makes this sort of shit their life and ask them to explain the whole cave man thing and all that. Also dinosaurs, how did they get here? Did "god" make them and then go, "ok, they're boring and stupid" and then throw a big rock at them? That sounds like something I would do. And where does this "god" reside? Does he live in the clouds? What was he doing before the whole seven days thing? Getting high? I bet he was! If it is a he.

Now, why do I think evolution is the way it happened? Apart from the fact that I find Physics immensely interesting? Well look at how a baby is made? Cells divide and grow and all these other wonderful things happen and there is science to prove it, how can that be denied? Evolution is the same thing, cells grow and change the way they grow and adapt. Natural selection in itself is a form of evolution. The weak creatures are weeded out and only the strong among the species survive to procreate. If evolution weren't present, we'd all look exactly the same. Each one of us have the same kind of cells, yet their combination is ever so slightly different so that no two of us are EXACTLY the same in everyway. Even identical twins are going to have differences, suttle as they may be. To quote House "One per cent the other way and she'd be a dolphin!"

Each new generation gets a different combination of cells and genes from it's parents. This is how I imagined that evolution happened. Monkies got less hairy, more intelligent and found other similar monkies and bred with them ... now here we are.

I'm more than happy to argue this sort of thing till the cows come how, but it seems an awful waste of an interesting power to create a world as fucked up as this. If I were "god" the world would be a fairly different place.

How does Kirsty know when she's too tired? When she sees little black fairies flying around. There goes one now.

Why is Kirsty so tired? Who the fuck knows, I slept enough last night and it's not like I did anything strenuous on Sunday, I laid around in a park all day and did nothing.

I have some really good pictures of Picnic yesterday, I will try and post some tonight, but no promises. I also took a couple of short movies, mostly of Shaun and Regan spinning around in a little row boat.

Oh ... my ... god .... pocky ... are .... AMAZING!!!!

It's Tuesday kids, time for Kirsty's Teachings *cue theme music and funky naked man dancers*

So this week we're looking at time travel. First off with current laws of physics I don't think it's possible, at all. Faster than light travel and further understanding of how the universe works could change my mind. I am of the opinion that if people were doing any time travelling, that we would have noticed. I learn a fair bit about the universe from Stargate, now I know you guys think that's stupid, but they actually do put a lot of effort into making what they do as real as possible. Like the whole time travel thing at the end of season 8, the whole story was based around screwing up something in the past which changed the future. So there were three time lines, the original time line where they went back into the past, the second time line which was different from the original thanks to things they messed up in the first one and finally the third one in which they didn't go back in time because they had fixed things in the second one.

Now, which one of these time lines actually exists? All of them side by side? It could be. I think it was einstein who theorised that worm holes could be created by alternate realities over lapping. Don't quote me on that.

Also looking at this example, who does the time line follow? Does the future continue on without the people who traveled back in time, or does it cease to exist, because suddenly they're in their own past. Also, if they were there in their past, doesn't that dictate that in their future they have to go back to the past and what happens if they don't do that?

In my opinion, the only time travel that is going to happen is that which is explained by Einstein's theory of relativity. If someone stays on earth and someone else leaves the earth's atmosphere, upon returning, their watches will say different times. Time is relative to your actions. I forget which way it goes, I think more time passes on the earth than on the astronaut's watch, it's all very interesting.

I'll be taking suggestions for next week's topic, although it might come later in the week depending on the topic. I might need to do my reading.

Well kids, it's opinion time. I need you guys to tell me what you think of this new logo:

If ya hate it, say so. If ya don't get it, say so. If ya fuckin love it say so as well.

Here's something else I've been working on. It's one of my assignments for tafe, I'll just link to it though because it's quite large.

LOOK, I HAVE CLONES!!!

And you guys thought I was doing multimedia at tafe ... WELL YOU'RE WRONG, I'M DOING GENETIC ENGINEERING AND I'M ON MY WAY TO CREATING A PERFECT WORLD, FULL OF ONLY ME!!!

Stay tuned for my return from crazyville.

If I hurt you, I wouldn't be sorry.

I am sorry though, that I can't tell you how much I hate you for what you're doing to me. It might seem like small change to you, but it's a bigger cheque than I can cash.

I hope that if you read this you'll understand that rather than spend another few hours with you I walked home on my own.

I know I'm alone, I don't need you to fix it or try and fill in the holes that exist with spare parts you might have around.

You get me the most and it tears me to pieces that this is the way it is. You're not who you used to be.

A single tear has fallen from my eye just now. For you, I offer nothing more.

It's the eye brows isn't it?

VIDEO MESSAGE:You, John Howard, have led Australia into darkness**

Have a read of that news article before you read the rest of this.

Now, my first question is, what exactly would please these terrorists? Do they want us to all bow down and worship their god? I'll admit I don't know a whole lot about their religion, in fact, I'm not 100% sure which one is is. I can tell you it ends in "ism" though ... and I can also tell you, it doesn't appeal to me. No religion does really, except for maybe parts of budhism. I can't see myself accepting a whole religion though, so there's really no point in doing a half assed job. If you're going to accept religion, you have to do it properly.

Terrorism reminds me of the stupid boys at high school that always had to cause trouble. You know, the kind that make snide remarks at the teacher and go out of their way to make your life hell? So is terrorism just a testosterone problem? I think it might me. So, I say we should turn them all into eunuchs and see what happens. Any objections?

**Link gone

Other people are hurting and I'm sitting here eating Yogurt, something's not right.

"My dearest friend of 30 years"

I just heard someone say that. I can't imagine knowing someone for 30 years ... maybe that's because I'm only 19 though.

Anyway, I notice none of you have commented on my post yesterday. Is it because you are all flabbergasted that I know things or have I gone and confused you? I've always been interested in things that are difficult to comprehend. It puts everything in perspective. I think it will help me a lot when I become famous to keep my feet on the ground.

I went to the library last night and got one of Stephen Hawking's books. So be prepared for more posts similar to yesterdays.

Also, take some time to learn about something you don't know anything about. You're all on the internet, you have the BIGGEST library in existence at your finger tips. All you have to do is look. Knowledge is wealth people, knowledge is wealth.

I'd like to share with you some thoughts on how lucky we are. I've been reading this book by Ray Kurzweil about the future of computers and how we will eventually transcend our biological bodies in favour of mechanical ones with a much longer life span. Ray has made predictions about where computing will be every ten years from 1999. Now, a lot of people make the mistake of basing the progress of the next 50 years directly on the last 50 years. This is a flawed school of though, because technology is expanding exponentially. So what some people are expecting of the next 50 years will quite possibly happen in the next 5 - 10 years. We're alive in an exciting time kids. Ray is predicting that around 10 years from now, computers will have reached the same processing power as the human brain ... and that's massive. We're not talking super computers either. The computer that Ray refers to is what will be the equivalent of a $1000 computer today.

Now Ray has obviously done a lot of research into the past and the universe and the posibility of life on other planets. Because of the size of the universe, (which I like to try and comprehend some times ... not sure why, it just makes me feel special) the posibility of life existing is pretty high. In his book Ray uses the phrase "Matter is both rare and plentiful". An example he uses of this is if you picked a random spot in space and looked for matter, chances are, you wouldn't find any, yet the earth and our solar system is full of matter. This alone is an interesting indication of how big our ever expanding universe is.

So, with these things in mind, imagine that there were another solar system identical to our own on the other side of the universe. Identical in every way so that the conditions for human kind evolving were possible. Now, I present you with the fact that Dinosaurs are going to evolve before people as it happened on this planet. What are the chances of an asteroid crashing into that planet and wiping them out? Little to none. Which means that Humans on this second planet are not going to be at the top of the food chain, the dionosaurs are. Sure they might eventually die out over time, or they could evolve further and become even more dangerous than the ones that were wiped out here. The biggest law of nature is natural selection, only the strong survive. I'm pretty sure that most early homosapiens would have been killed by these super dinosaurs.

So if you ever think that you're unlucky, think about what life would be like had the earth not collided with an asteroid all those years ago.

Oh, and just to put your mind at rest regarding all those other worlds out there with intelligent life. I wouldn't worry about it. By the time they are advanced enough for interstellar travel, they will have left their biological bodies also and there fore will not come here in search of resources. Everything will be self replenishing. The only reason to explore other worlds would be to make contact. There's also the posibility that we are the first planet to have evolved itelligent life. Now I know this pretty much contradicts what I said about the universe being infinate and all that, but the chances are pretty much the same either way I think. We've measured the time since the big bang (not sure how accurate this is, I need to read into it more) and if it's taken us this long to evolve to the stage we're at now, depending on how quickly the universe expanded back then, I think it's a fair call to say that other worlds may not have had the time to evolve yet. Of course this also depends on our position relative to the location of the big bang.

Tune in next week for my thoughts on time travel.

HAHAHAHAHAHA:

"Nothing says Hello like animal print"

Last night I was reminded of the first conversation that Adam and I ever had. On like the first day of high school (I think) our home group teacher wanted us all to bond. We went around the room and said something about ourselves, or some shit like that. We had a vegetarian in our class and later in the day Adam had forgotten who it was. He asked me if I was the vegetarian, to which I replied:

"Do I look like a vegetarian?"

Possibly one of the funniest things I've ever said.

When I came in this morning there were about 8 police officers and 6 secret service goons (complete with 3 left hand drive cars, 4WDs of course, because they can't drive normal cars or anything). Now we have a chopper flying around.

CAN YOU GUYS PLEASE FUCK OFF?? HE'S NOT HERE TILL NEXT WEEK FFS.

City Centre locked down

Have a read of that, but if you can't be arsed here's a recap:

US Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld will be in Adelaide late next week at which time Riverside Centre will most likely be shut down so that protesters can't get too close. Various parts of ARTERIAL MOTHER FUCKING ROADS will be shut down so that protesters can't get anywhere near the cunt ... I mean secretary of defence.

Now, this pisses me off for many reasons, the first of which is that if I don't work, I don't get paid. As much as I don't really care about other people, if something goes wrong with the system on that day, which Murphy's Law distates it will, the entire fucking state wont be able to function properly. ALL SAHT offices are controlled centrally and if their system goes down, they can't do ANYTHING, no emergency housing, no bonds, no nothing. It would be a fucking catastrophe. So we can't be not at work because people rely on us to keep things functioning. Who ever though that closing parts of THE TWO MAINEST ROADS IN THE MAINEST PART OF ADELAIDE IN THE MAINEST PART OF THE STATE was a good idea should be hung drawn and quatered. Also, I will NOT, I repeat NOT be riding trains during this "exciting" time. The train lines run pretty much underneath the Hyatt building. Who ever planned that was the biggest fucking moron ever.

Now, I suggest that these people go and fix their own fucking country before they come here and talk about shit that isn't going to help anything in a hotel in the middle of the mother fucking city.

here's an exerpt from the artivcle:

One business operator who declined to be identified, said yesterday: "From what we have been told it is going to be huge.

"They are talking about large fences and road closures to keep everyone out of certain areas down here. I don't think the public realise yet just how much disruption there will be. You are talking about Adelaide's busiest streets," he said.

Stupid mother fuckers.

Finally, anyone who needs a place to stay in Adelaide for the ineviteable war protests will have a place in my office. You're more than welcome to sleep under my desk.

Well here it is, my new car. His name is Cecil ... =OD.

Well I bought a new car, it's a 96 Lantra and it's only done 47,000 ks. GO ME!!!! I pick it up next Saturday and I give them all my money =O(.

So Kirsty forgot that it was the first of the month yesterday. Go ahead and shoot me if you like. Anywho, onto the monthly duties.

Hilarious search phrases for the month just gone:
http //www.nakedmedusa.com (one wonders why it wasn't esier simply to enter this in the address bar)
naked bra (oxymoron?)
rugrats all grown up naked and fucking (I'm pretty sure that they wont be making this spin off any time soon)
watch britney spears get naked and have deadly sex (naked and sex, no, deadly, yes)
darrell lea green apple liquorice (THIS SHIT ROCKS!!)
medusa extender (is that like seafood extender? that stuff made of potatoes?)
little red riding whore movie download (WHO MADE A MOVIE FROM MY STORY?!?!)

So there you have it boys and girls, what you're looking for ... apparently.

Well I've bet $10 each on Vinnie Roe and Distinction to place. SO RUN YOU BITCHES RUN!!!!