December 6, 2005 10:54 AM
Well kids, it's that time of the week again. THAT'S RIGHT!!! Topical Tuesday!!
This week's subject is Christmas. Personally, I hate Christmas, I hate the whole family/community spirit, I hate all the decorations and although I will go, I hate the Lights at Lobethal. Every year without fail, I feel depressed when we are there, no matter who I'm with.
Now, my hate of Christmas could well have something to do with my hate of Children in all their forms. The fact that they are freed from their prisons, also known as schools for 6 weeks and I still have to work is ... I just don't have the words for it. The older ones with 'tude spend their time terrorising those of us who have to work for a living in town, by crowding Rundle Mall. The little ones are dragged on Christmas shopping expiditions and most of the time end up screaming to be released from the clutches of the evil one from which they spawned.
I hate the ads on TV "Hey kids, make your mum buy you this for Christmas." "Great Christmas gift idea." "Beat the Christmas rush!" "Don't get caught short this Christmas.". Shutup, we know it's Christmas, we've known since you put decorations up in your shop 3 months ago.
I do like giving gifts, I like the challenge of trying to find something for each person that they will like. I like the people who are easy to buy for. I'm not all that into receiving gifts and I know what you're saying "Oh bullshit, you love getting presents". That's true, I do like getting presents, what I don't like is feeling that I have to pretend to like something if the gift that someone gives me is utter shit. They say it's the thought that counts, but it's totally not. No matter how much thought someone puts into something a shit gift is a shit gift. I know I'm guilty of giving a few of those in my time and anyone who says they've never given a bad gift is full of shit.
I don't like the fact that at Christmas we're encouraged more than ever to give to charity. If you ask me, we shouldn't need an excuse like Christmas to give to charity. If you're going to do it, it should be because you want to, not because you feel guilty that you're going to have a better meal that someone on Christmas day and that you can afford better gifts. Sure it makes a difference to their lives, but if you give all year, people's lives will be improved all year, you might help them get a job, or a place to live then they can help themselves at Christmas time.
Most of all, I hate Christmas carols!! I hate fucking Carols by Candle Light. Whether it's the one in Elder park or the one in the domain that they televise with Santa and The Wiggles, it's all crud. They're all about fucking White Christmas that, Dashing Through the Snow This. IT DOESN'T SNOW HERE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!
I feel bad for all those religions that don't celebrate Christmas, such as ... well most of them. They have to put up with all the Christmas shit in the shops, Christmas parties at work, food they normally buy coming in special Christmas packaging. It's fucked up. We say we're multicultural, but we don't recognise ANY other religions at Christmas time. Well done society, well done. I think it would be interesting to rotate it each year. Like the Olympics, although without the bidding, because that's just unfair. I think a Buddhist Christmas would rock. There would be no gift giving, everyone would be perfectly calm for the four day weekend. Personally, that's the only good thing I find about Christmas, the four day weekend.
Finally, onto the biggest bane of my existance ... THE LIE THAT IS SANTA CLAUSE!!! I can't believe how massive this lie is. It's bigger than fucking Watergate. Year after year children are lied to, it is unacceptable. I'm going to be starting an organisation to be known as COPAS. What does this stand for? I'll tell you: Coalition of People Against Santa. We'll have T-shirts and Mugs and everything. So spread the word Children, we're not gonna take it anymore! NO MORE LIES! NO MORE LIES! The whole fucking world is in on it. On Christmas eve Sandra Sully gets on the news and talks to some bloke in Air Traffic Control about Santa's arrival and this SHIT about the sky being red because of Rudolph's nose ... hasn't anyone looked at the sky at sunset on any other night? Young minds are pliable, don't fuck them up with the web of lies that is Christmas.
On the topic of Sandra Sully, she was wearing the most attrocious top on the late news last night, I took screen shots which I will try and post when I get home.