So I was having this great dream. I went out with Vicki and Carly and we met these guys ... one of them had a scottish accent ... I was sold. For some strange reason he seemed to be into me and we were all sitting about a table when just out of the blue, I said "I love your accent, it's so beautiful." Then I got up and whent to dance in another room. When I came back some hours later Vicki was lying down and some lady was delivering to her a large bowl of corn flakes and banana and some toast with apricot jam. Carly was dancing with the two remaining boys one of which was my knight in shining accent. He was very drunk and ran off to dance with some guy who every time I looked at him a note popped up with an arrow pointing to him saying Trent Reznor. I'm pretty sure it wasn't him as it was a large man in KISS makeup. About now I woke up ... =O( I think I'm going to have to move to Scottland. Someone brought my family here, I think it's time to go back.

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So here are some pictures I have been waiting to scan for a couple of days. Your thoughts are appreciated:

Not really happy with the nail on the first finger, it comes around too far and looks odd, never mind though.

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Angry angry ANGRY!!! Fucking Microstuffed have pushed the launch date of the xbox 360 back three weeks. Here I am, carefully planning my payments so as not to send myself poor and I could have had an extra fucking pay to put towards it, instead, I'm surviving on as little as possible and trying to get myself out of debt at the same time ... GO KIRSTY!! I don't want to wait another fucking 3 weeks. DAMN YOU BILL GATES!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!! TO HELL I SAY!!!

ETA March 23rd ... let's see how many more times they push it back. If I have one by my birthday, I'll be somewhat happy.

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I would now like to share with you something I found while stumbling around the net today. They're transcripts of short conversations that occurred in court rooms. I can only assume that these court rooms reside in the US:

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.

Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."

Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"

Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."

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This week the Wednesday Wankstain goes to who ever currently has the book I want from the library. I've been waiting for months now. I'm number 1 on the list and I have been for almost 2 months now. JUST RETURN THE DAMN BOOK!!!

Also, someone buy me this place:
HOME!

*again, link is gone

Brokeback mountain is an awesome movie. You heard it first here!! And if it's not first then I'm glad they shared my opinion. A lot of people wont go and see it because they're scared of seeing two men kiss. How about ya look past that and see the movie for what it is? A GREAT FREAKIN FILM!!

Last week (or was it the week before now?) my Tshirts from threadless arrived, I love each and every one of them equally. I haven't had a chance to wear them all just yet though. I'm trying to decide which one to wear to the big day out next week ... So hard to choose!

I'm thinking about getting an Ipod soon. One of the new video ones, if you order them off the internet you can get it laser ingraved, I'm gonna get "All your music are belong to us".

I went to a funeral today in Barmera, it was my mum's Aunty. Listening to the eulogy just made me think how useless we are today, she volunteered on so many committees and made such a difference in her community. I tried hard not to cry, I said to myself, the third one's the doosie, I'm not going to cry at this funeral. I got through a fair bit without crying, but in the end it came. Country funerals are nothing like city ones. Everyone knows everyone else, the minister always knows the deceased and the local bowls club puts on the spread for the family and friends afterwards. It really makes you wonder how the rest of the world is so fucked up when there are little towns like this all over the place where people can get along.

On the trip up there I had time to read all 6 of my scripts and make a few changes. I think they all work together pretty well and after a bit more work, I think they'll be ready to go. The pilot will be ready to put into production when Vicki gets back at least. It's only ten pages long, but rather than copying it directly from the first episode, I rewrote it ... for a different view I guess. I think the final product will be some sort of combination of the two. I think when it's done I'll post an internet friendly version up here so that everyone can have a look. Although everyone who reads my blog will be involved some how, so that sort of nulifies the point.

So here I am at work, doing the late shift, eating pretzels and sitting on an ergonomic chair ... I feel odd, but in a nice way. When I get home I have some awesome pictures of a cool house to post and I'll be heading out to the video shop to get Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ... YAY!!

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Ok, I know I haven't blogged for ever, but I've been busy.

Besides, it seems that when I blog, people don't comment, but when I don't blog people do comment ... I can't win.

I did it, I fucking did it. The first drafts of all six episodes are done. It's much easier to end with brilliance if you get something down on paper. Now I have to go back and see if anything I've written is any good ... I'm a bit scared.

Also, the Shins are amazing. I'm sorry that I didn't discover them sooner.

Almost there kids, 5/6 scripts are done as far as initial writing goes. Still lots and lots of work to go in regards to editing and that sort of thing. My goal was to be finished the first draft of all of them by the time that Vicki got back and for a while there it wasn't looking good, but this last one has just happened ... to tell you the truth though I don't even know if it's any good. I sort of write and write and forget what I've written before so it could be 25 pages of absolute crap.

After watching Garden State the other day, I came home and wrote a 10 page script so that we can throw together a short pilot of sorts. I basically used the beginning of the first script, but I re-wrote it and I like it much better than the first pass.

Everyone should see Garden State, but you should see it with someone who's already seen it. It is an amazing film. It will change your life =OD.

Stolen from www.absath.com which is written by the GOD who draws Ctrl+Alt+Del. I've highlighted my favourites in bold.

*they got unbolded and I can't be bothered rebolding, so they're now all my favourite.

Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

8. Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Additional Chuck Norris Facts

* Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

* Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

* Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

* If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, :Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

* Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

* Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

* There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

* Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

* Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

* Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

* When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

* The quickest way to a man;s heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

* A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

* Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

* Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

* Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

* The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

* Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

* Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

* Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

* Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

* Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

* Chuck Norris is not hung like a hor... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

* Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle — you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

* Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.

* Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb.

* If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.

* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

* The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

* In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

* Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.

* Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

* Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

* Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

* As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

* Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Something funny to finish off a pretty good day. Funny Articles in UK newspapers. There's some signs in there as well, but most of them are articles and pretty damned funny.

**link has gone

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Well, I thought it was going to take a bit longer than this because I had something slightly different in mind, but here we are. My year in pictures:

If you click on it, it will take you to a 1600x1200 version for those close up details. Not bad for 4 - 5 hours work and can I just say that I love my Intuos3. It is a GOD LIKE device. Everyone should have one.

So far my eBay experiment is going well, someone bid within the first hour. YAY!

Hey everybody click here and buy this great CD Walkman .... It's great!

That's right kids, I'm trying my hand at selling shit on Ebay. Never done it before ... except if you count that pear, but that didn't sell. So bid kids, BID!!! I need money to pay for my xbox 360.

This week I'm not at work, which is great. Carly and I have been sitting around watching NCIS and doing NOTHING. I love nothing! I love NCIS also. New SG-1 begins again in a couple of days, at that time I will again be at peace with the world. Atlantis has been keeping me fairly sane, but nothing compares to SG-1. Tonight I am going to start working on the beginning of year project ... wish me luck =OD.

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Found this lovely piece of gold while Stumbling about on the internet tonight:
Top Ten Questions Paris Hilton Asked Herself Before Buying A Monkey

10. "Does it go with my shoes?"

9. "Should I get the extended warranty that covers replacement monkey parts?"

8. "Which species got the best rating from 'Consumer Monkey Reports'?"

7. "Does Louis Vuitton make monkey-wear?"

6. "Will it get along with whatever wealthy twit I'm currently engaged to?"

5. "If I don't buy this monkey, does that mean the terrorists have won?"

4. "Will it get along with Lindsay Lohan's orangutan?"

3. "Should I consider leasing?"

2. "Can it be trained to hold a video camera?"

1. "Will I still want a monkey when I'm sober?"

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Well I think I've finally finished cleaning, it's only taken we all day. I've thrown out so much shit, mostly papers and empty envelopes. A bit of school stuff as well. I was looking through my year 11 school diary and I found this page from a book I'd read:

We went into town and found that Killing Heidi were doing a signing so I ripped the first page from this book and had them sign it. They had a laugh. The book was pretty crappy if I remember correctly.

I also found one of those things were you write half a sentence in a story and then pass it around. Ours were always pretty gross. I'll have a read of this one and if it's not too bad I will scan it and post it.

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Welcome kids, to the year that will be 2006. It is now 7:21 am and I have yet to go to sleep. I have updated the site ... the earliest yet I think. Don't get testing all the links though, there are some holes that I've found already. Go me and my tired self! bed time me thinks.

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